Who is this Scary Woman?

Baby, I know I haven't been the most understanding these couple of weeks.

Actually I intended to blog only after I've seen your blog post. But it's not coming, and I can't wait any longer. I decided to blog because I can't bear to make you go through the agony of listening to me over and over again. I know you get scared whenever I say that I have something to tell you. I'm scared whenever you sound so stress. I fear that I'm pissing you off, I'm annoying you, and one day you'll love me no more.

I really don't know why I'm behaving this way. I can't seem to adjust to the fact that you're coming out of army and getting into University. The vibrant world out there again - the friends, the new stage in life, the new stage in our relationship - it's all making me so worried.

I know I can't stop you from meeting new friends, having your own group of friends, but it's making me feel so unsecured! I don't know why, but it's just making me feel like you'll spend less time with me, your attention is no longer on me alone. I know I can't demand your everything, but to me, you're already my everything. I really don't know what to do without you.

These days, jealousy has already tainted my sense and reason. I can't think properly any more. Whenever I don't meet you, I just feel as though I need to know where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. It just makes me seem so controlling. I just can't stop myself from sending you SMSes to ask about you. Even if I managed to fight of the thought, I will feel so lost! I don't know what to do, I just stare into space. I don't know why, but deep down it just feels so uncomfortable.

Baby always tells me not to worry, to trust you. I really want to, but I don't know why I just can't seem to convince myself! I just need assurance and reassurance over and over again.

These days, I even go into finding fault with the small, nitty-gritty details. Like how you no longer update this blog any more. Like how you haven't been wearing the necklace you bought for me. Sometimes, I don't know why but your I love you don't seem as endearing any more. It sounds like you're just saying it for the sake of saying it. I really don't know if you really mean it. It hurts, baby. I know it's hurting both you and me.

I know you're trying, baby, I am trying too, but I just can't seem to let go. You know the worrier I am.

Baby, I don't know what in the world is happening to me. Why am I behaving like this? I can't continue like this any longer. I feel as though I don't know myself any more. I don't know who is this inside me. I don't know who I am. Who am I?

It's so scary, I think I've lost myself.

Please, help me, baby!

Please, help me save myself!

=(

Checklist of Places

Places to visit!

Singapore:
Dempsey
Punggol Park
Cable Car
MBS
Chinese Garden (coming mid-Autumn Festival) Conquered 12.09.2011
Asian Civilisations Museum: Terracotta Warriors (Free admission on 13-14 Aug! http://www.acm.org.sg/exhibitions/eventdetail.asp?eventID=721) Conquered 13.08.2011

Eat:
Clarke Qauy Boat Restaurant
Everything with Fries
Xiao Long Bao Buffet @ Holland V. Conquered 27.10.2011

Overseas:
Foreseeable future:
Krabi
Redang
Bali
Railway ride to our friendly neighbour!
Paris, France and around Europe!

Future dream:
South Africa
Kenya (Both of the above are my ideas, HAHA)
Taiwan
Liverpool, England
Climb a mountain
Cruise trip

*NOTE: Red means visited.

Fear and Insecurity

It's engulfing me.

Save me, please!

It's About the Carrot Cake

"It's not about the primecut or the deep ocean abalone, it's about the carrot cake." -- Jeremy Lim

Yes, so this is one of our many endeavors at cooking and making our own food to satisfy those greedy stomachs of ours! =)

Of course, someone got so irritated cos he had to run 3 different places just in search of the 50-cents 'chai poh'... LOL!

Well, but it's all forgotten and buried under all that flour after we started on the making of the chai tau kuey! =D

Slicing the radish was probably the most time-consuming part...

Well, we took the chance to hone our skills! =p

Stirring and mixing the flour batter!

About done...

Transferring onto the steamer...

Here it is!!!

A bit rough at the bottom though.

Proudly presents...

Homemade Fried Carrot Cake! =D

Chomp chomp! =p

It's these little moments with you that makes it all add up to a whole lot of indescribable happiness... =)

Life's Like Carrot Cake

I enjoy every single moment spent with friends and family, but I especially enjoy 1 simple moment with you, be it just watching a show with the lowest viewership on TV or cooking something you can get for $2.50 by just ordering from the uncle like a plate of carrot cake.

For the past 1 year + together, we have tried out recipes and although they didn't always turn out like how we wanted them to be, we enjoyed the process of learning and doing it together. We've cooked pork ribs soup with cabbage before, tiramisu, rosti, fried rice, fried udon, many many more, and recently, our homemade carrot cake.

Dear, I've been wondering who else would love staying at home watching a boring TV show and go through the trouble of making carrot cake on our own, and I can't think of anyone else but you. There is a whole world of cuisine in this world and I wish you will be part of this journey in tasting and cooking them all with me (hehehe... except spicy food, seafood and some others you don't eat that I know, but not many others know).

I love you dear!!!

Now we're here, I don't want it to end.

On the 27th of May 2009, I asked for her hand and I took it with pride and determination that it would be my last relationship, because there walking beside me was a woman I could relate well to, a person who always listened and talked back, a partner who would support me in times of need.

Time passed on and there she was, always around and never backed away. We had our disagreements, we had our bickers, we had our doubts; we pulled through the first few months, and I knew for sure it would never end.

On the 27th of May 2010, it was my graduation again. It was our first year together as a couple. It wasn't exactly a fantastic celebration because all the parade rehearsal had run me dry, and all we had was a simple celebration. However, I am sure the gifts I gave was special, and well-loved.

Time will never wait. It will not give any of us a second chance. I am blissed and glad to have asked for your hand, which blended so well into mine in that very minute when we first held each other, entrusting ourselves in one another.

Dear, I know you were upset when I sounded unhappy, and there were times when you mistook me for what I said or expressed. There is bound to be misunderstandings, and through this, we have learnt more. Everytime I look at you, I know something new, and that makes me love you even more. Dear, nothing will take this away from us, and I believe, in us.

Your mum mentioned that I will have to tolerate you, and I have always been a patient man. There is nothing I won't, and I will embrace these, because it is you whom I love.

Now we have 'pieced' ourselves together, there will be no better fit. You are already the one.

Happy 1 year and 2 days, and counting =D.

Love,
Jeremy dear.

Free Time!

Since I've got the free time to blog while waiting for my mummy's 'lu dan' ...

Jiayou dear!

Hehe.. Exams will be done and over in 10 days, it'll be fast, and my training at Changi will be completed in 3 weeks, which equate to only 15 more days of training!

Dear will be able to finish her first year, though a bit of a struggle because of time constraints, quite well, that I strongly believe! All the best!!

In case I do not have time to message you just before your paper starts for the following 3 days, GOOD LUCK MY DEAR!!!

I love you =D