Our Diary of Love

When Hell Breaks Loose

2011-09-13T16:27:00.001+08:00

Baby, I'm so sorry. I really didn't mean to cause you so much hurt. Yet, when I saw that, a part of me couldn't help feeling so touched. I'm really thankful that you are my boyfriend, and you are going to be the one walking through this hell with me. I love you, baby.

L-O-V-E

2011-08-24T21:31:00.004+08:00

Happy in love! HEHE! <3

Once again, we're back in the sea of love!

Change.

2011-08-19T20:29:00.004+08:00

Changes - Embrace or detest? Welcome or reject? To even make them, or not?

Baby, I fully understand your predicament, I truly do. Remember when you first entered NUS, how worried I was, how jealous I was. I was a guy who hadn't been through NS and just got rejected the direct entry to 2nd year, how was I going to compete with those guys ready to take on University and the world? Do you remember?

Do you remember also how I felt inferior as compared to the education and family guidance you and your siblings had? How was I to live up to expectations? How could I fit in?

Answer is - No, I could never fit in, I could never compete with them. Not in the past, not now, not forever.

BUT ..

I know I couldn't fit in because I never will, with distinct personalities and interests your family and I have, but it's you who showed me what family bonds are, what it's like to spend the entire Sunday afternoon with your family, be it watching TV, singing karaoke or playing Wii. These, I had never experienced before. I might not show it, because I was never taught how to express myself freely, but I do enjoy moments like that spent with the family.

Then, I could never compete with them. That's because there was no competition in the first place! You had a great OG with lots of great people, you hung out with them often after your camps and they were those people that you needed as you didn't know the school well. Yet after some thoughts, I knew that despite all those frequent meet-ups, you still loved me. To me, that was enough to hold on and love you even more.

Yes, I have to admit to the fact that recently because of all these changes, our relationship has been strained, almost to a point where you thought of giving this relationship up. I wanted to be able to keep up with my OG mates and friends, because I needed to adapt to life outside army again.

In addition, I have to admit too that I at times was frustrated. There were requests that you made that I felt was unreasonable, and many times I didn't dare to voice it out as you were already agitated. I felt like I was suffocating too, not being able to do things that I wanted to do, not being able to move around as freely as before. I used to be able to go swimming whenever I was pleased, go running whenever I was free, go meeting my friends without having to worry about how late it would be, unless it concerned catching the last trip of transport home.

Yes, I am stressed with this relationship, together with the piling workload I have and a possibility of something bad happening. I know I did sound frustrated in messages, that I couldn't be cute all the time, because I thought those were the only times I could have on my own, to really just listen to my favourite music, or have a casual conversation with a friend, or walk around the campus alone doing things that I feel like doing at that very instance, not having to worry about replying your messages on time and things like that.

I know up to this point, you would be breaking down, but let me tell you why you shouldn't.

Despite all my frustration and stress, I know you will come to terms eventually, and all I have to do is to reassure you that all I ever needed is you. Perhaps recently because of all these, my I love you is becoming more and more like a form of address, something to make you happy, something to help get me out. Let me tell you then, I love you. You are the person I could let myself down and do things that I would never do infront of other people; you are the person I could have endless things to talk about, and it has been evident for the past 2 years and 3 months we have together; you are the person I feel proud talking about when I tell my friends you're doing double majors, how we maintain our fantastic relationship and how you understand and care for me.

To me, ever since that promise, I have never thought of giving you up, not even harbouring the thought of why I had made that promise in the first place. Here you are, the most wonderful person that understands me the most, encourages me to go beyond my boundaries and lets me find out that I can break my limits, it's only a matter of whether I want it or not. Here, you're just right here. How can I possibly let you go just like that when I know I can never find another woman like you?

These changes are drastic, but I know you know that it's necessary. What will not change however, is the evergrowing love for you, the desire to have you here to see me through thick and thin. So my dear, let me tell you, that you are the third woman in my life that I really need, apart from my Mum and Wai Po. They will not, however, be by my side forever, and I never want to live those days without you.

Baby, I do cherish you. You must know that. But let's just give each other time and space. Believe me, you'll want to have some space of your own some time, whether to think through things, do your work or have a good time out with your friends. Because in the future, when we finally walk down the aisle, we will not have that much time of our own to do what we have wanted to do now.

You need me to support you through tough times, and vice versa, I need you too. Fate has brought both of us together, and we have forever to spend with each other. I will not give you up wholly for all the things I want to do, because at the end of the day, I wish to share what happen in my life and hear my happy baby's voice so I can go to sleep soundly. There are things I would like to accomplish with my dear now as well, such as exploring places where we would not have time to in the future.

To end this, finally, I love you. I cannot tell you enough, and I really, truly hope this relationship will be the envy of many, and how it can be a model for other people to learn and follow, because I know this relationship we share is so special and unique from the rest. I hope we can both build this home together, where we can go back to after a great day at work to share, or a warm place to fall back to after a foul day.

Baby, I love you.

Who is this Scary Woman?

2011-08-19T17:18:00.003+08:00

Baby, I know I haven't been the most understanding these couple of weeks.

Actually I intended to blog only after I've seen your blog post. But it's not coming, and I can't wait any longer. I decided to blog because I can't bear to make you go through the agony of listening to me over and over again. I know you get scared whenever I say that I have something to tell you. I'm scared whenever you sound so stress. I fear that I'm pissing you off, I'm annoying you, and one day you'll love me no more.

I really don't know why I'm behaving this way. I can't seem to adjust to the fact that you're coming out of army and getting into University. The vibrant world out there again - the friends, the new stage in life, the new stage in our relationship - it's all making me so worried.

I know I can't stop you from meeting new friends, having your own group of friends, but it's making me feel so unsecured! I don't know why, but it's just making me feel like you'll spend less time with me, your attention is no longer on me alone. I know I can't demand your everything, but to me, you're already my everything. I really don't know what to do without you.

These days, jealousy has already tainted my sense and reason. I can't think properly any more. Whenever I don't meet you, I just feel as though I need to know where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. It just makes me seem so controlling. I just can't stop myself from sending you SMSes to ask about you. Even if I managed to fight of the thought, I will feel so lost! I don't know what to do, I just stare into space. I don't know why, but deep down it just feels so uncomfortable.

Baby always tells me not to worry, to trust you. I really want to, but I don't know why I just can't seem to convince myself! I just need assurance and reassurance over and over again.

These days, I even go into finding fault with the small, nitty-gritty details. Like how you no longer update this blog any more. Like how you haven't been wearing the necklace you bought for me. Sometimes, I don't know why but your I love you don't seem as endearing any more. It sounds like you're just saying it for the sake of saying it. I really don't know if you really mean it. It hurts, baby. I know it's hurting both you and me.

I know you're trying, baby, I am trying too, but I just can't seem to let go. You know the worrier I am.

Baby, I don't know what in the world is happening to me. Why am I behaving like this? I can't continue like this any longer. I feel as though I don't know myself any more. I don't know who is this inside me. I don't know who I am. Who am I?

It's so scary, I think I've lost myself.

Please, help me, baby!

Please, help me save myself!

=(

Checklist of Places

2011-08-01T17:52:00.011+08:00

Places to visit!

Singapore:
Dempsey
Punggol Park
Cable Car
MBS
~~Chinese Garden (coming mid-Autumn Festival)~~ Conquered 12.09.2011
~~Asian Civilisations Museum: Terracotta Warriors (Free admission on 13-14 Aug!~~ ~~http://www.acm.org.sg/exhibitions/eventdetail.asp?eventID=721~~) Conquered 13.08.2011

Eat:
Clarke Qauy Boat Restaurant
Everything with Fries
Xiao Long Bao Buffet @ Holland V.

Overseas:
Foreseeable future:
Krabi
Redang
Bali
Railway ride to our friendly neighbour!

Future dream:
South Africa
Kenya (Both of the above are my ideas, HAHA)
Taiwan
Liverpool, England
Climb a mountain
Cruise trip

*NOTE: Red means visited.

Fear and Insecurity

2011-07-25T09:20:00.003+08:00

It's engulfing me.

Save me, please!

It's About the Carrot Cake

2010-08-06T17:03:00.004+08:00

"It's not about the primecut or the deep ocean abalone, it's about the carrot cake." -- Jeremy Lim

Yes, so this is one of our many endeavors at cooking and making our own food to satisfy those greedy stomachs of ours! =)

Of course, someone got so irritated cos he had to run 3 different places just in search of the 50-cents 'chai poh'... LOL!

Well, but it's all forgotten and buried under all that flour after we started on the making of the chai tau kuey! =D

Slicing the radish was probably the most time-consuming part...

Well, we took the chance to hone our skills! =p

Stirring and mixing the flour batter!

About done...

Transferring onto the steamer...

Here it is!!!

A bit rough at the bottom though.

Proudly presents...

Homemade Fried Carrot Cake! =D

Chomp chomp! =p

It's these little moments with you that makes it all add up to a whole lot of indescribable happiness... =)

Life's Like Carrot Cake

2010-08-06T16:06:00.002+08:00

I enjoy every single moment spent with friends and family, but I especially enjoy 1 simple moment with you, be it just watching a show with the lowest viewership on TV or cooking something you can get for $2.50 by just ordering from the uncle like a plate of carrot cake.

For the past 1 year + together, we have tried out recipes and although they didn't always turn out like how we wanted them to be, we enjoyed the process of learning and doing it together. We've cooked pork ribs soup with cabbage before, tiramisu, rosti, fried rice, fried udon, many many more, and recently, our homemade carrot cake.

Dear, I've been wondering who else would love staying at home watching a boring TV show and go through the trouble of making carrot cake on our own, and I can't think of anyone else but you. There is a whole world of cuisine in this world and I wish you will be part of this journey in tasting and cooking them all with me (hehehe... except spicy food, seafood and some others you don't eat that I know, but not many others know).

I love you dear!!!

Now we're here, I don't want it to end.

2010-05-29T19:57:00.002+08:00

On the 27th of May 2009, I asked for her hand and I took it with pride and determination that it would be my last relationship, because there walking beside me was a woman I could relate well to, a person who always listened and talked back, a partner who would support me in times of need.

Time passed on and there she was, always around and never backed away. We had our disagreements, we had our bickers, we had our doubts; we pulled through the first few months, and I knew for sure it would never end.

On the 27th of May 2010, it was my graduation again. It was our first year together as a couple. It wasn't exactly a fantastic celebration because all the parade rehearsal had run me dry, and all we had was a simple celebration. However, I am sure the gifts I gave was special, and well-loved.

Time will never wait. It will not give any of us a second chance. I am blissed and glad to have asked for your hand, which blended so well into mine in that very minute when we first held each other, entrusting ourselves in one another.

Dear, I know you were upset when I sounded unhappy, and there were times when you mistook me for what I said or expressed. There is bound to be misunderstandings, and through this, we have learnt more. Everytime I look at you, I know something new, and that makes me love you even more. Dear, nothing will take this away from us, and I believe, in us.

Your mum mentioned that I will have to tolerate you, and I have always been a patient man. There is nothing I won't, and I will embrace these, because it is you whom I love.

Now we have 'pieced' ourselves together, there will be no better fit. You are already the one.

Happy 1 year and 2 days, and counting =D.

Love,
Jeremy dear.

Free Time!

2010-04-25T13:29:00.002+08:00

Since I've got the free time to blog while waiting for my mummy's 'lu dan' ...

Jiayou dear!

Hehe.. Exams will be done and over in 10 days, it'll be fast, and my training at Changi will be completed in 3 weeks, which equate to only 15 more days of training!

Dear will be able to finish her first year, though a bit of a struggle because of time constraints, quite well, that I strongly believe! All the best!!

In case I do not have time to message you just before your paper starts for the following 3 days, GOOD LUCK MY DEAR!!!

I love you =D

A Million Thanks to My Idiot

2010-03-23T01:01:00.003+08:00

Really really want to say a big thank you to that guy who has been accompanying me thru the past few weekends - especially the one that just passed - at home, so that I can do my work while spending time with you... well, in a way... =x

If not for my super supportive boyfriend, I think I'd have died-ed long ago!

Thanks dear, for not just your presence which never fails to make me persist on... But also for all the support and encouragement you've given me. I will survive, don't worry! =)

I love you dear. Many loves.

Your smile makes my day.

Loves

2010-03-18T22:54:00.001+08:00

I love my dear...

Only my idiot will dote on me so much that he comes all the way from west to east and back to west again on his nights out just to accompany me for less than 1 hour!

My poor boyfriend... LOL! =p

And that's why I love you. =)

My Idiot

2010-02-27T23:50:00.005+08:00

My dear, Mr C H Lim

My idiot dear is not exactly the romantic, full-of-surprise kind of guy you'd expect. He can't draw, his art isn't exactly an A grade, he can't keep surprises, he doesn't buy you romantic gifts, doesn't buy you flowers...

But he can cook, he showers you with care and concern, pampers you with all the love he's got, he tries to make little gifts which didn't turn out the way he wanted, he does everything you ask of him without a complain, floods you with his "I love you"s...

... and that is why I can't help it but fall for him again and again.

Happy 9th Month Anniversary, my dear... I love you. =)

All Over Again

2010-02-21T20:13:00.002+08:00

Thank you my dearest for the previous post!!

I love you so much too!! =D

Now that I'm starting training again at a proper unit, the waiting for weekends will commence once again. The next 3 months or so will pass very fast I'm sure, because I will be thinking of you all the time, every day, every hour, every minute.

I love you dear. Long live to us!!! =D

The Number 21

2010-02-16T00:00:00.004+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST IDIOT! =)

For that, you shall get 21 "I love you"s

I Love You

Hope you enjoyed your day and presents! Hehe!

Final Showdown

2010-02-09T22:56:00.003+08:00

Dear is at his 28km route march now. From Kranji War Memorial back to camp. (I wonder how the passerby's are supposed to survive that seemingly scary hallucination. LOL!)

Oh no, I missed dear's call and SMS-es just now at 3+! Omg, I've been like eagerly looking forward to it, constantly checking my phone the whole day, through lecture. And yet! Yet, just at that point in time when I was most free, waiting for the tutorial room door to open, I didn't catch the call, the messages!

Nearly felt like killing myself after that when it finally occurred to me to take out my phone and check. Really almost cried then and there. Was super emo through out the whole tutorial. Couldn't really concentrate. Couldn't absorb anything I was trying to revise last minute for the test at 6. Sigh! =(

Well, at least I finally managed to get better just before the test. Am feeling much better by now.

Anyway, I'm like very emo nowadays. Tap breaks down so frequently. Can't control! =x My poor idiot has to put up with me. So sorry to make you worry dear!

So, to my sweetest and most adorable boyfriend...

- take care during the route march okay, no 70 rounds k!

- don't fall sick! there's still CNY coming up!

- there's only 3 more days to go... Jiayou! =)

- don't keep apologising to me, I feel so bad =(

- I'm really looking forward to your SMS tomorrow!

... and, lastly but most importantly,

I MISS YOU DEAR! so much so much... I need your arms... =(

I love you... =)

Loves

2010-01-29T22:27:00.003+08:00

Yay! I'm a happy girl once again! =p

My idiot is the best boyfriend in the world! HEHE! =)

Thanks dear, for traveling 1 hour here and 1 hour back just to see me for that less than 1 hour. Really appreciate it loads. Love you so much!

Loves x 2705 =)

Field Camp End

2010-01-28T23:07:00.003+08:00

Oh no, I forgot to post yesterday night! Was too carried away by the fact that I actually survived the day alone pretty easily, occupying myself with my accounting tutorial all day.

Anyway, yesterday I signed up for a MOE career talk that I wanted to go to help you listen for stuff, but ended up too lazy to go. HEHE... =x

Phew, field camp finally ended. But I'm so sorry I didn't come home earlier... Could have talked to you for so much longer. And you could have gone to sleep so much earlier. Sigh! =(

I need to see my dear asap. I miss that idiot so so so much! =(

The 27th

2010-01-27T00:03:00.003+08:00

Happy 8th Month Anniversary my dear! =)

I'll be wishing you in my heart...

I love you, my dear idiot.

Field Camp Day 2

2010-01-26T23:09:00.004+08:00

Day 2 down! 2 more days to go... Not too bad, at least school keeps me busy.

Today while I was walking home, I saw the evening moon, and was thinking to myself - good, at least you had the half-a-moon worth of moonlight yesterday. Certainly hope you didn't get lost out there! =(

I miss my idiot so much! Haiz! How am I to survive through the whole of tomorrow in silence of my phone? I really miss jumping up in excitement whenever I hear a message come in... Especially at night. Morning/Afternoon ones would be a bonus. =(

Sigh, I miss having to wake up at 4, 5 am in the morning to check for messages some idiot sent me... I don't mind if it disrupts my sleep. It gives me the energy I need to see me through the whole day. =(

In short, I miss you dear... Come back quick! =(

Field Camp Day 1

2010-01-25T23:22:00.003+08:00

Oh man, there really hasn't been any posts coming up lately. Since I'm in the mood to blog these days, I shall do my daily update of the field camp again! =)

Sigh! It's field camp yet again. I have no idea why this round of field camp seems so exceptionally unbearable. Might be due to the amount of time we spent together recently, plus the preceding events that happened just before this. =x

Anyway, I'm glad Day 1 is over... soon.

Like I mentioned yesterday (or this morning), IT is not an embarrassing thing at all. It just makes you so adorable... I like! HEHE... =)

Jiayou dear... We can do this, again! =D

Getaway.

2010-01-03T10:47:00.003+08:00

14th - 15th DEC 2009 -outdated.

First .. Happy New Year, 2010 for the both of us!

Now, I'll update on the short getaway we had on the beautiful island of Sentosa. Hmm ..

We stayed in Amara Sanctuary for that 2 days which was very well-furnished and comfortable. Just the place we needed to chill-ax. Haha.

First day, we went up to Fort Siloso, free entries granted from an ex-colleague who was the stand-in IC of the day. It was my first time taking a walk there as a visitor rather than a staff, and it was enjoyable to walk through the history of Singapore. I managed to squeeze out that little bit of memory I had to explain to dear the different information and also present some interesting hideouts other visitors might not know. Hehe ..

Next was a walk by the beach looking for dinner and taking a few photos (actually a lot of photos whenever I am with dear, HAHA!) of the sunset along Palawan. We settled for this Beach Cafe on Siloso beach, somewhere near the Luge & Skyride, and I must say they serve great food, especially the beef burger. Trust me, it was the best burger I have tasted, yet. Haha! The open setting of the restaurant was great, and since it was a weekday, there wasn't a crowd filling the place, heightening our dining experience there =D.

Songs of the Sea was the next attraction we visited, again, free entries courtesy of my ex-colleague. Haha. I think it was so much more enjoyable to be watching with some one you love or with your friends than watching it with your colleagues after getting the visitors seated. HAHA!

We made a trip to the Butterfly park on the second day afternoon, and dear wasn't as afraid of insects as I thought she might be! Haha. She didn't dodge and scurry away when a huge butterfly flew pass, nor did she scream or hide. Ok, she was disgusted by those abnormally large beetles, but she was more fascinated by the different butterflies. Haha.

After spending a long time at the park, we had late lunch at this other restaurant. We weren't particularly hungry so we shared some food and the rain spoilt our plan for the Luge & Skyride after our meal. With no other choices, we headed back to Amara to collect our bags and left for Wiwo City, and home next.

*That was also the day dear didn't feel very healthy and started to fall sick the next day, and a few days later discovered that she had dengue. She's all well now though =D.

All in all, I enjoyed my getaway with dear, even if it's only at Sentosa. Nothing fancy, nothing over the top, just she and I spending our little quiet time together.

I love these getaways =D.

It's Christmas!

2009-12-24T15:54:00.003+08:00

It's Christmas!

Dear is sick and worried sick about her sickness, but I know she'll be ok at the end of the day.

Although she can't go out at all so as to avoid the crowd which, of high chances, contains lots of germs and bacteria and viruses that can give her a secondary infection to her Dengue, I know X'mas with her anywhere will be merry.

Merry X'mas my dear =D.

I...

2009-12-13T12:09:00.003+08:00

I love you dear ... I wanted to post something, something to please you, or appease you ...

Lost for words, I am. I love you ...

Sucks to be Me

2009-12-13T11:19:00.004+08:00

I don't know why I'm acting so petty lately. I'm like some spoilt brat. Totally can't find that understanding me! I don't understand why, but I can't help it either. I really hate being emotional so easily. It sucks.

What if one day, I'm not longer that girl you thought me to be?

Loves

2009-12-09T14:34:00.005+08:00

Dear go out and buy lunch for me le! HEHEHE! =)

27th post

2 Big Idiots

2009-12-07T10:50:00.008+08:00

To My Dearest Idiot,

I've really never wanted to doubt you. I'm so sorry I did. It really hurt me to see you so worried and upset. Made me hate myself for that. Really didn't feel like continuing the talk when I saw your look.

I've been telling myself not to compare, not to compare, but I just couldn't help it. I guess I knew too much about your past... You know, girls really tell their girlfriends everything. I know how you asked her to be your girlfriend, how you celebrated her birthday... I know almost everything you said to her, what happened when you all went out...

Sometimes I wish I really didn't know all these! I know you love me... I know, I really already knew... But I just don't know why, just cannot control my thoughts.

I won't be able to tell you all these face to face cos you known I won't be able to control my emotions... =x

The problem is, girls always expect people to think along the same frequency. Girls expect people to read their minds. Girls expect people to think of the same things they think of. And I think girls always like surprises. Hope I'm not expecting too much from you dear... Tell me if I'm putting too much pressure on you okay!

I'm so sorry dear, but don't worry too much. Seriously, THAT has never crossed my head. I know my heart is safe with you too.

POC27: Old Man's Chest <3

Love,

Your Idiot =)

1 Week to POP

2009-12-01T22:53:00.002+08:00

Countdown:

Exactly 7 DAYS!!! =)

I miss my idiot still... But it's okay, 7 days to POP! Yay! =)

We've been through 7+ weeks... What's another 7 days? =p

The 27th

2009-11-29T12:32:00.004+08:00

Thanks dear, for spending my 20th birthday with me... =)

And for making the 27th an even more memorable date for US.

I love you.

Happy Birthday To Idiot!

2009-11-27T09:30:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To You, My Dear,
Happy Birthday To You!!!

Just as well, Happy 6th Month Anniversary my dear =D.

Love you =D.

Things About Her.

2009-11-22T12:14:00.002+08:00

Broken tap.
Sore shoulders from shoulder bags.

Small, frequent meals.
Tofu, egg and potato.
No prawns, no squids, no seafood.
No garlic, no shallots, no chilli.

Story-teller.
Inability to summarise.
Long ... long ... posts.

Poor immunity.
Needs vitamins supplement.
Garlic oil too.

Loving.
Supportive.
Understanding.
More about her which I can't describe with my limited vocabulary.

Limited vocabulary spells three simple words:

I love you, my dear =D.

T-G-I-Thursday

2009-11-19T13:15:00.001+08:00

Yay it's Thursday!!! Finally...

This week has really been... Only 4 words to describe - 度日如年!

I love my idiot!

I Miss My Idiot

2009-11-18T14:50:00.006+08:00

Yesterday, I woke up from my nap and all of a sudden I missed your potato salad...

I missed the way you look when you're cooking.

I missed looking at you cook.

I miss you dear.

More Waiting...

2009-11-16T22:23:00.000+08:00

Why isn't the phone ringing? =(

Endless Waiting

2009-11-11T23:41:00.002+08:00

We are like part-time NS men... LOL! =x

End of Day 5

2009-11-06T11:55:00.002+08:00

End of Day 5.

Finally the countdown can be by the hour!

I need the adrenaline rush when I hear the phone ring! HEHE... =)

Pray hard that you're well and safe... Keep fingers crossed.

I didn't drop a single tear the past week! Wahahahaha... Aren't you proud of me? Where's my reward? Hehe... =p

Tomorrow I shall be on standby - anytime, anywhere, as long as the phone rings! =D

I love you, miss you so much dear.

End of Day 4

2009-11-05T23:03:00.001+08:00

End of Day 4.

Didn't manage to stop the rain...

I just couldn't help it but feel moody the whole day.

Hope dear is coping well, and doesn't need to lose his temper at all!

Someone is very scary when he's bushuang... =x

I'm a good girl, I took my medicine! Shall go sleep now...

Hope your cough is gone!

I miss you!

End of Day 3

2009-11-04T23:20:00.003+08:00

End of Day 3. Yay! Halfway there... =)

Sigh, hope it didn't rain over there! It'd be horrible if it did. Hmm... Maybe the weather goes along with my mood! I shall try to bring more sunshine then! =p

Thanks for letting me be your source of motivation, dear. I shall make you my mental pillar of strength too. Don't worry, I'll pull through this!

By the way, it's really amazing/freaky that somehow we always seem to have some kind of telepathy... I swear I wrote this before I saw the SMS for today! =x

I love you.

End of Day 2

2009-11-03T22:36:00.005+08:00

End of Day 2.

I bet you didn't sleep well in that basha tent. =x

Sigh, hopefully today will be slightly better...

I miss you dear! Can't sleep properly without my daily good night messages. Luckily I still have my 'SMS package' to keep me through mornings! =)

Ok now, back to work... STRESS! =(

End of Day 1

2009-11-02T23:59:00.004+08:00

End of Day 1.

Hope my dear is not affected by the rain!

Hope training was okay for him...

Wonder how his cough is...

6D5N In The Jungle

2009-11-02T00:01:00.001+08:00

Field Camp!! For 6D5N, I won't be talking to you, not even through sms. So ... for that few days, dear, hang on there and keep yourself occupied! Find our friends for support if you need before I book out to wrap you closely in my arms =D.

I love you dear!! =D

27 October 2009

2009-10-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

Happy 5th Month Anniversary! =)

5 months of joyful living... All because of the guy who taught me what love is.

I love you dear.

The Cycle Begins

2009-10-26T00:00:00.002+08:00

Yet another weekend is over. Again, the cycle begins.

I'm waiting for you~

Army Daze.

2009-10-24T21:56:00.002+08:00

Army is robbing time away for me to spend with my dearest, but nothing is going to stop our weekends together!

I love you my dear =D.

I Miss My Idiot

2009-10-22T22:50:00.001+08:00

My heart rings together with the phone...

Please please please, let me see you! =(

Hmm...

2009-10-21T23:50:00.002+08:00

It's no fun talking alone! =(

Fill it up with more of you, pleaseeeeeee!

I Still Miss My Idiot

2009-10-11T22:27:00.006+08:00

Yay!!! 20 minutes today (twice of the past 5 days added together)!!! HEHE... I'm a happy girl again~

Though I still miss you a lot, but it helped so much... =)

Can't wait to see you again!

I Miss My Idiot

2009-10-11T02:17:00.000+08:00

Whenever I think of you, my heart feels so weird it brings tears to my eyes...

I can only meet and hug you in my dreams.

I Miss My Idiot

2009-10-10T22:40:00.009+08:00

Where is my dear?! I miss him! =(

Sigh, it's been 5 days since dear went onto that sickening Pulau Tekong. The first 3 days were perfectly fine. I had some energy from I-have-no-idea where, such that I had such confidence I'd have enough patience to last me till next Friday!

There's still 6 days to go. It seems to me an impossible task now. =(

Ever since I missed that call the very first day, I've been making sure my phone is with me everywhere I go. My heart leaps whenever I hear a message coming in. Well, though most messages stated that he might not be able to call, but at least it's something.

I was so close to him just a few hours ago, at Pasir Ris. Yet, it seemed so distant. What an irony.

Every night, I prepare a whole list of things to ask him. But I never got the chance to, because time is simply not enough. We didn't even have the chance to talk for 1 second today. Can I just have my 30 seconds per day, please?

I guess this journey will be tough... but it'll be worth it. I know my idiot will enjoy himself thoroughly.

We can do this. Let's press on...

I miss you.

The Other Version

2009-09-27T23:27:00.001+08:00

This blog was started all because someone was feeling upset about something, and my dear idiot did this to reassure her. Well, it certainly did move that someone to tears... Thank you so much my dear. =)

Alright, so here goes my version of our story...

Apparently, I became an MSN addict during Poly, and soon I was talking to many people online every night. My dear here was the very first person to become on my list. We talked about everything under the sun, from past to present, present to future, even finding out that he's living in the same block I used to live in, and coming up with G.aisle.

Soon, every day on MSN, I'd be checking my online list to see if he is online, and bugging him if he is. From the "Ieremias kok" then to the "Ah Pek" now... That's how long we've been talking to each other on MSN.

Talking to him was always an easy task, but all along, we maintained a very odd relationship. While we could talk about so many things from deep within us, we were never really considered very close in person. Probably because it's just like him, or maybe even me, to be slightly more subdued in person.

I was never someone with a lot of problems to begin with. He didn't really have that much either... Until some time when he started asking about whether I know of any places which teaches baking and stuff like that, because a particular person's birthday was coming up. *ehem*

At first, I was still rather surprised, because it came totally unexpected. This, was the start of a whole emotional roller coaster for him. The subsequent few months was a whole lot of ups and downs. We saw how he went from heaven to hell. I learnt more about this person here.

Then things started getting busier, and everyone went on with life as usual. Somewhere at the beginning of this year, Shirley started commenting that, "I have this feeling Jeremy and Janet will end up together."

Somehow at that time, I really don't know why, but I had the same feeling somewhere down in my gut too!

Then came the end of our final year in our course. Days were free for most of us, and especially so, the 2 of us. We began chatting online every single day. If it weren't the start of how our relationship changed, it certainly did bring us closer.

Over the days, our way of talking changed very minimally, that we probably didn't even pay much notice to. Much as that was the case, we never seemed to be able to stop talking. I have no idea how we had so many things to talk about at all.

More of the clique people started disturbing us, especially after the April Fool's joke. But this idiot here kept insisting it was impossible between us, and that we are too good friends. Deliberate deception? Hmm... Sounds familiar. =x

Then came the period of time when we started tricking each other with words. I bet he was the one who started it first. LOL! Probably too hooked on our April Fool's Day joke. Like, making so much suspense as if we're about to tell something very important, and turns out to be a very minor issue (eg. going to sleep already). -_-lll

So this went on, with revenge on each other and such... Until one day (some 1 week before Graduation Day), I managed to get my revenge by successfully making someone think that I was really going to announce something important. I really didn't expect him to believe, since I've been plotting my revenge all the while. Who knows, someone's heart was racing and was really prepared for the 'worst'.

The next day, he kept harping on wanting to exact his revenge. Well, so he did. He made his confession, and obviously, me thinking that it's only another trick of his, didn't believe! (Though a part of me secretly wanted to believe.) So he had to spend the rest of the night trying to convince me that that's the truth.

Subsequent days were quite awkward, and someone kept blaming it upon himself. Though we continued to chat on MSN as per normal, but things were never the same any more. It could never return to how it was. It was like an irreversible chemical reaction.

Then on that night before Graduation Day, he kept dropping hints that he felt like asking something the next day, but doesn't quite dare to. Idiot. Made me lose sleep the whole night just because of this. I was in a dilemma on whether I should accept or not.

On one hand, I wanted to stick by my principle of not wanting to accept so fast. On the other hand, the date is simply too tempting for me. 27th of May: First, 27 'happens' to be my favourite number. Second, it's exactly 6 months from my birthday. Third, it's on Graduation Day. How significant! A small part of me was quite afraid that he wouldn't dare to ask again due to whatever reasons... =x

Oh well, the next day finally came. Unfortunately, someone wasn't anywhere near, but he certainly was busy texting whoever he could. The indecisive me, as usual, is always asking around for opinions, although I'm quite certain now, that a decision has already been made somewhere within myself at that time.

The day proceeded, with a lot of photo taking. A final chance to do so officially as a student of SP. We totally didn't have the chance to be near each other much. Only managed a photo or so together. Then came the clique's dinner and night out at Timbre. He certainly knew how to make use of all chances to get the seat next to me.

Apparently, the night dragged on and there's obviously not much chance he had to pop the question. Hmm... In the end, he still did, by means he's already stated in his post. On the way back, I had to clear whatever uncertainties I had before giving him the answer. The answers he gave weren't exactly fantastic, but obviously I've already made up my mind long before, it doesn't really matter that much any more.

The entire night practically felt like a dream to me. Everything felt so surreal, I was living out of my usual shell. But... The way he looked at his watch anxiously and whispered with a look of relief, "It's still the 27th... Your birthday." - That, I can never forget.

This was how we got together. Sometimes, life is such a mystery. You never know what can happen. Fate works in such a way that the next person you meet could very well be the one you will live with for the rest of your life. Never stop carrying hopes.

Even though I still harp on the fact that I'm too easily won over, I can be sure I'll never regret this decision - I've really been on cloud nine-hundred and ninety-nine these past few months. All because of you. You make my life more complete.

We've entered a one-way street. There's no turning back now. I am helplessly becoming more and more dependent on you. I wish this journey never ends.

Happy 4th Month Anniversary, my dear... =)

Opposites Attract

2009-09-11T21:32:00.010+08:00

What else is love but understanding and rejoicing in the fact that another person lives, acts, and experiences otherwise than we do?

Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 - 1900)

To that silly goose of mine...

Why would I need someone to be better than me in what I'm already good in? I need someone to help me to fill in what I'm weak in. That is exactly what you're doing, and it's enough.

Just know that no one loves me more than you do. I am very sure of that, aren't you? What you've given me is more than enough. I am really contented right now. =p

Competence, like truth, beauty and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Laurence J. Peter (1919 - 1988), The Peter Principle (1969)

Our Beginning.

2009-09-06T14:00:00.006+08:00

Introduction =D.

This is a blog I wish to dedicate to my one and only dear, Janet Ng (Huang Jiale), where both of us are able to write and share some of our happiest moments with our closed ones. I would like this to also act as a record of the times we spent, and the times we are going to spend in the future. In addition to that, perhaps this can double-act as our communication portal should miscommunication assumed its position in our comfort zone =D.

From strangers to acquiantanceship, from acquiantanceship to close friendship, from close friendship to intimate relationship, this journey began in quite an ordinary fashion, yet surprising and valuable. Two ordinary beings, not so ordinary beginning.

We both entered Singapore Polytechnic as students who did not catch most people's attention at first impression. She had the upperhand for being a Nanyang Girls' graduate, reputable and acknowledged as one of the best secondary schools in the context of Singapore's Education system. Whereas I was just a quiet neighbourhood schoolboy whom no one took much notice in, apart from my bizarre connection to being an old man.

It was definitely not love at first sight, but I would say it felt as if we'd known each other for some time when we first started chatting on MSN. The comfort and easiness that accompanied the conversations we held with each other came so naturally that it did not feel as though we had just recently become classmates of one another. I might admit though, that I was quite different the way I communicate with people through MSN than in person - I was more open and willing to express myself through means of cyber-networking; In person, I was reserved, quiet and 'in'-spoken.

She was the opposite. She was able to converse with others well and without problems, express herself freely in a group of people. Perhaps it was a result of her ability to connect people that engaged me in the conversations with her, otherwise, most MSN conversations were not sustainable either.

Soon enough we became friends of the same clique, and she was one of the closest 3 I made - the other 2 being Wayne and Fiona. She wasn't anything like Wayne, who could talk about anything so irrelevant; Neither was she like Fiona who could talk serious about sensitive topics. She's more like a person still experiencing new things in her life in her decision to come to SP, unable to help others in their issues. However, she was always more than willing to sit and listen, although she might not be able to provide with the best consolation and advice.

Whenever I had problems, not like I always do, she was ever-ready to cast aside her own worries of schoolwork to just listen to the complaints I had. In return, she always amused me with her stories with life, people and things. As we always call her a story-teller, she never runs out of stories to share, even now. Maybe that's another strength she possesses, the ability to retell something interestingly =D.

Over the three years in SP we developed a friendship that was strong and I could see that we have built it in such a way that it could sail across the most treacherous sea. But never did I expect something more, and I doubt she felt differently.

How then, did two different worlds collide?

It happened not so long ago. This is just my part of the story, you have to wait till she fills in her part of the story =D. Soon after we finished our final paper in our three years of study, we started to talk more frequently online. It was true that I still did not feel anything for her, but as time pursued, feelings changed.

I remembered that time I was still frantically in search of a job to occupy my free time. She was then employed by her mother's company as an assistant in the company. She had a computer of her own to do her excel work and some other duties, she was able to access the internet and you guessed it, she was online all the time! Although she was online, there wasn't really anyone to entertain her as most of us had a job already, or were finding ourselves activities since it's the end of our education in Poly. There was me. I was online most of the time too, and I became her companion to chat with when she got too bored at work.

It was initially just my leisure activity, as there weren't many people online to chat with me too. Having her to be online to entertain me was of great pleasure, and we never ran out of topics. Slowly, I became accustomed to her and every afternoon, I would be anticipating the small window to pop from the bottom right hand corner of my screen. Not just every afternoon, every night I would wait for or initiate a conversation, and it had become a necessity.

Time passed and I realised one night when I wasn't talking to her, this weird feeling built up in me. I thought perhaps it was just a habit acting up, but it was clearer after a few nights of not talking, not consecutive nights though =D. I realised I had started to take more notice for this girl and soon enough if given the chance, I would fall for her.

It sure was soon. On April's Fool Day this year, I suggested to her we act intimately before the rest of them, hoping to play a prank. Well, it didn't actually work out but after our lunch at Seoul Garden, I schemed another. Details will not be given here because it might due offense to some. This time, it worked out and we played as couple to fool Shirley and Sarah.

Throughout the time when both of us walked side by side each other, plotting how we could fool them, it really felt as though we were a couple. The comfort was something I had never felt before and it was most probably why we pulled it off so successfully that Shirley, being the smarter one, did not see through it!

That was not the main point of course. It was that particular incident when I knew I was starting to fall in love with her. No one knew, no one noticed, because everyone thought we were best friends and nothing else ...

Events that followed were rather mind-wrecking. I knew I will be enlisted later this year, and she was starting school, and I feared to confess. Maybe at that time I could feel that she felt the same way for me, but because of the tough road ahead, I was afraid that it might not work out as well as I hope it will. That was why for some reasons, I did not wish to confess to her, not knowing what could turn out.

Some time later I told Fiona about it. Apparently, soon after she knew, she knew something else as well, and that was when she encouraged me to let out what I felt for her. As she was so tight-lipped, I couldn't force anything out of her. I pondered for long, and it happened one night.

We were talking on MSN as usual, and all of a sudden, she probed me to tell her what I said I would when the time was right. When I finally told her, she was full of doubts and did not believe me, as I had actually previously tried to trick her so many times the same way as I confessed. I vowed that time what I had spoken to be true, that I had fallen for her. Now, I stand by my vow =D.

That incident happened not too long before our Graduation Day, and on that day itself, things started off a little awkward. I tried my best to get close to her and soon enough, things went back to normal. As I was seated alone away from the rest of the people, all I could do was to find people to chat with via SMS and she was obviously one of them. The other? Joan Ting who was sitting next to her!

Throughout the session, she was actually telling Joan about me telling her about my confession and asking her for her opinion. I was kept in the dark that Joan knew about it!!! Haha. In fact, she had told quite a number of people already!

So the whole time on Grad Day, I was able to stick to her for our dinner and also our drinking session at Timbre. I was sure I was going to ask for her hand that night, and with the help of some alcohol, I plucked out more courage to do so. I typed out a message to ask her, because I realised the situation was not suitable with many of us sitting around. She replied asking if I would be sending her home and I said, "Yes! If you allow me to!".

After that, the rest of the night at Timbre was spent nervously, for me at least. I kept sipping my beer away and looking in her direction, while she directed her attention to the rest of the clique. HAHA! What a moment!

Time to go home. We walked up that long stretch of road leading to her house. Haha. The very first part we were just talking randomly, and suddenly, she questioned me like a convict! I should think my answers satisfied her, and my strategic planning to ask on that day had her accept me to be her official boyfriend. It must be one of the life moments I will never ever forget, and I stretched out my left hand, she held it and I thought to myself, I will never ever let go of her =D.

The way we held our hands sticks till today, which was quite a weird way actually. Not to let you busybodies know of course =D.

So on that fateful day, two different individuals fell in love with each other, making it two less lonely people in the world. A day to remember, a day not to forget. This is the girl I am going to hold on to, this is the girl no one else can be compared with, and this is the girl I love and will love for the rest of my life.

And now as I am sipping my milo from the glass you gave me as a present, I know it is blessed with love from you. I know you will be there when I need you to - there to assist me, to support me, to love me. Your love is more spectacular than anything else. Here I promise you I will never give you up, and I will do just as much as you would ask of me.

I love you, my dear =D.